The Funeral and Beyond

We had the funeral today. Starting with a parents-only viewing before 11:00AM, it segued into the family viewing at 11:00AM, the public viewing at noon, the actual funeral service at 1:00PM and the funeral procession at 2:00PM. Interment followed at a local cemetery with a dedicated area for infants. Needless to say, the entire day was filled with emotion. The facial tissue boxes were emptying faster than a theatre where someone yells "FIRE!", and I saw the most grizzled of veterans bawling their eyes out. The death of a very young child will do that to you. My son-in-law delivered an inspired eulogy which made me very proud.

Following the funeral service, many of the people chose to continue to the cemetery; and of those, the majority came back to the church for a meet-and-greet. By the time all was completed, it was past 5:00PM. No one went home hungry and there were heartfelt displays of emotion and support from the most unlikely sources.

The hard part begins now... Trying to return to life as usual is not really an option. You can't unring the bell. But you can learn to cope, and that's what lies ahead for the young family. Grief counceling within the school system has already been arranged for the eldest daughter; and the younger daughter will learn more about her brother and his premature death as she gets older herself. Dad and mom will need to support one another, and perhaps seek professional support at some point. For the time being, however, they seem like they should make it.

My wife, too, has shown marked improvement over the past few days. Today, of course, was her day to grieve, but I can already sense that she's over the worst of the shock. She's already concentrating on ensuring that she focuses on the living, without dwelling too long on our grandson.

As for me, my task is much easier. Because of his youth and the limited contact I had with him, I never really got the opportunity to bond with my grandson to the same extent as my wife. His death saddened me. I cried very openly during the synagogue memorial service the day after his death. And I've sobbed a few times since, including during today's funeral. But I think I'm now over the worst of my loss, and will be strong for my wife, daughter, and son-in-law.

I'd like to publish a small headshot and memorial for my grandson on this blog, but I'll only do that with the permission of his parents. I have yet to ask for that permission.