Looking ahead

Father's Day is coming! I'm looking forward to being back in Windsor this weekend for Father's Day. With the warmer weather, the pool will be open and my wife is planning a barbecue on Saturday. It will be an opportunity for my parents to meet their newest great-grandchild and renew acquaintances with their first.

Father's Day is a bittersweet day for me. I love my dad and honour him always, and Father's Day is just one of those days when I get an opportunity to focus on him. But then, there's the other side of the coin. I have never regretted my decision to marry into a ready-made family. My wife is amazing, and her children have beautiful souls and kind hearts. I love being her wife and their father. But the kids have always made it clear that I'm not their dad. I'm happy to say that their biological father has always been an important, loving part of their lives. He never shirked his responsibilities and generally did what he could to remain part of their lives. Despite being remarried and having a new family, he still put in enough of an appearance in my kids' lives to remain their "dad".

Unfortunately, I was adversely affected by the knowledge that I was not considered their "dad", and didn't go "the extra mile" to win their affection. And I never got to that point of parenthood where a parent is willing to forgive and forget all transgressions. For years, I harboured bitterness over some of the things my children said and did, and that made Father's Day a time I personally dreaded.

As my kids get older and experience "life" for themselves, I believe they are coming to the realization that I did more for them than they gave me credit for - providing a constant presence and some semblance of emotional and familial commitment. And I've come to the realization that, despite being rebellious and sometimes too much to handle, these kids have grown into exceptional young adults. And now, I have grandchildren who have known me from birth. They actually see me as "grandpa", and that has put a joy into my life that I'd never gotten the opportunity to experience.

Heck, sometime soon, I might actually enjoy Father's Day for myself!